Crazies

Time for creepy fucking true story time!

So I just recently came back from a vacation with my parents and sister at Sequoia National Park. We had booked a cabin which on the website looked like a luxury 2-story wooden castle but which turned out to be a rotting shack crawling with spiders and radioactive mutant ants and also had no electricity and a toilet from which you had an idyllic view of the back of the fridge.

Anyway. The best part about this shack was the fact that it turned out to be ass far from nowhere in the middle of nothing. We literally had to drive for an hour and fifteen minutes through dense, uninterrupted woods on a rocky dirt road that pulled more G's than your average six flags ride in order to get to another building. We would frequently come across a flabbergasted-looking deer which would stare in paralyzed awe at us like we were aliens.

Let that sink in before I get to the creepy part. There was an hour and a half of 5-foot-wide BMX track between our propane-lit spider shelter and the next feeble attempt at a human structure.

So. I was driving my drunk parents up this road at the end of the day. It was like 9:00 and at that point it was pitch ass dark. The road/trail was lit only by starlight and the narrow swinging beam of the highbeams. I'd been driving for like 45 minutes. I was spacing a little bit. I steer the car around a hairpin corner and illuminate the next patch of pitch darkness with the headlights.

There in the distance, standing on the edge of the trailroad, was a human.

I'd seen several deer and two bears at this point. And there stood a human.

What the fucking fuck. Why is this guy here. I short circuited. It's literally pitch fucking dark. There are no houses. It took me 45 minutes to come this far in a fucking jeep. Where the fuck. How the fuck. And this was not just any human! This was a lanky, filthy, tall white man with white blond hair that stood up like he'd just been struck by lightning. He had no flashlight, no hiking gear, there was no car. He wasn't walking. He wasn't even facing uphill. He was, in fact, turned directly toward me and was making eye contact from the moment my lights fell on him.

This dude had giant, bulging, insect-like bloodshot BLUE eyes and was staring right motherfucking at me.

I thusly began shrieking bloody murder and crying slightly. My family shat. I shat. It took a long ass time to get past the motherfucker. He stayed staring at me the whole time. He was smiling slightly. He panned along with the car as we passed and when I looked in the rearview after we'd gotten by, he was still facing us and disappearing into complete inky darkness.





WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING GUY. WHY IS HE ON THIS RANDOM ROAD. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT. OH MY GOD. GHOST. SLENDER MAN.

The end.